I Have Been a Total Crab to Other Women

In Inspiration by Kristine Berry (Hodsdon)

I was asked to share something about myself that someone would never guess in this piece. So title might not be a surprise for the receivers of my broom ride through dental hygiene. For others, it might be.

Why am I dancing in the flames of honesty and truth talk now?  Because the spirit of DeW. Its vision of, “Together, we can raise up ALL women in the dental profession,” is powerful, and an aligned vision of who I am now. Such an evolutionary transformation from who I was when I started in dentistry.

Reflecting back during my early roles of a sales representative, speaker and/or corporate consultant reminds me of the “Crab in the Pot” syndrome. For readers who haven’t heard of that, it’s a mindset of, “If I cannot have it, neither can you.” The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. When you place a bunch of crabs in a pot of boiling water, you don’t need to pit a lid on that pot. For IF one of the crabs tries to escape, another crab will reach up and pull that enterprising soul back down to the collective demise.

I did my share of pulling women back down. This showed up for me when I viewed others as competitors vs. collaborators. Or when I was insecure about of my abilities and lacked self-worth, so I could justify being snarky or catty about another. Early in my career, I felt the loneliness of jealousy, thinking I had to do it all on my own and all alone. And because of that internal struggle with NOT being able to reach out for support and asking for help, I hated it when others shined and were successful. Reality was, it had nothing to do with the other women. It had everything to do with my fear and self-doubt. Though my ego mind would have never allowed me to admit that then, yet who I am committed to being now, I can.

Within this unique community that Anne Duffy is creating, my intention is that you will find a gem or two for your life and goals, when I show up and face my worst fears. When I share the lessons I’ve learned that have both pulled me down and pulled me forward. Whether we fall on our faces or not, we are meant to step forward, even when we’re scared as hell.

You simply can’t get where you’re going without taking BIG actions that often feel scary.  So within this emerging and sacred community, I know I am with friends who will love me no matter what, even during the messy part of this journey.

As we build our businesses, change our career paths, go back to school, or simply serve our patients at the highest level, we can do this together. So bust through those upper limits of what held you back and who pulled your down by taking a bold action. The action is alchemy.

Today’s ceiling is tomorrow’s floor.

Kristine Berry (Hodsdon)